Kim Jong Un and Cher

Just picture it: Kim Jong Un prancing around the deck of a battleship in fishnets and a leather jacket, with young sailors waving their hats at him, while he belts out, “If I could turn back time…”

And then it occurred to him that he could do exactly that. By thirty minutes. You know, to stick it to those Japanese imperialists.

Now, to be fair, North Korea is simply returning to the pre-1910 standard. It was in that year that Japan forced the Korean peninsula to set their clocks ahead thirty minutes so as to be in sync with Tokyo. But today, with South Korea remaining in the same timezone they’ve been in for over a century now, this change isn’t going to do much besides cause confusion at the Kaesong industrial park, a joint North-South operation that is arguably itself more imperialistic than the current timezone.